wanting to work and love joy but im finding the beginning so increasingly difficult i dont know what i want from it and thats the problem theres the thought that if you cant write something then clearly theres a problem in the scene that needs to be addressed but im not sure if thats even it maybe im just bored but im always bored i just want to get through it and i know what its meant to be but i cant do it and i feel like a fake sort of author because of that i mean why do i struggle so much do other people struggle as much as i do in writing i dont know maybe theres something uniquely wrong with me in everything that i do and im not even human or anything i should be put down like a dog but that cant happen cause i still need to work on joy im fixated on bad phrasing and its a hard place to get out of so maybe i just gotta do it from the top again or keep pushing through i dont know cause i dont know even what the issue is coming out to be anyway i think i need to go back to reading again actually im normal again and managed to get through a bit of joy drafting decided to go a little later into the first scene so i dont have to start at the true beginning the draft sucks very badly but all drafts do so its whatever ill be able to write it better in the edit thats sort of the whole point anyway ive also been thinking i wanted to do a little writing not quite event and not quite challenge just a little personal thing kept loose and fun and after going over what ive already had in my march file i realized it was all momdaughter stuff so i think this is poetic in a way so thats whats going to happen i have no idea what exactly ill be doing oh i just had the idea of a little zine booklet so i can have some art and writing oh that would be fun to do i think maybe ill try to write something everyday and i could also do a bit of collaging and the like ohhh that sounds so fun ive had a similar thought before but there were some problems i could also have this as the little intro to the longer work section since my plans of writing longer work has at least temporarily fallen through okay after a little bit of consideration i think im just going to keep it to daily prose although im not sure how this will fit with my writing log considering i did want to start redrafting joytoy and doing two at once is kind of annoying but i think it will probably depend case by case anyway i do want to write and edit and post all in one day maybe i should lock in and actually get to doing that but god will it be annoying actually maybe i should rethink my plan but also i dont want to because i want to commit to this so i guess ill do it anyway except i have to actually do it which sucks bluh well it is day one hashtag quit before you start or whatever okay well i got the beginning or the start of one drafted out and its not the best but not the worst a little too short or at least im not super pleased with the direction but i added in another scene so if i write that i think itll come out better but i am wondering if i should be trying to edit and post as well i guess it sort of depends like worst case i could just do the day after but i also kind of want to post it day of regardless hm i dont know well i have two days written but not edited or uploaded and thats kind of the whole point i should focus on getting one done but im not sure if it should be the one i wrote yesterday or one i found done earlier and thought it fit the theme um i mean it guess it doesnt really matter either way well one is edited so i will upload that okay my god this was a complicated code well it wasnt but it was just a lot of moving parts and subtle design alterations to make it cohesive and cute but i got through it so if there are any future projects similar to this i can have that done in the same way in the meantime i could also edit to get the next one up but i think its fine i kind of actually want to edit the regular page just cause im placing that after so it looks a little better the next one is fairly short anyway working on the joy sitepage and it was very hard but i think i have some sort of skeleton im also going back to write or rewrite joy and the first scene is almost done but there is a lingering thought of should i edit as i go keep pushing forward till the end of this section or the end of it all i dont know either way something is going on and i do not feel good bluh well its been a month maybe a month and a half i dont really recall because ive been out i think my problem was well first of all i was finding it increasingly difficult to get back into writing which is not i mean ive had bouts of this before and i wanted to push through but that wasnt really happening i think its only just now that ive realized i think i have some sort of i dont want to perfectionist complex because thats not it but i think i put more weight into writing i always have so coming to the head that i am simply not as good as i thought i was that i need practice and maybe some of it isnt practice maybe theres some sort of innate skill ive been reading a lot recently and its jarring to pay attention and see just how much of it is simply bad then it makes me doubt my own self i know im not the worst out there i know that for a fact and im certainly no where close to the great i want to be im solidly average im alright and that wouldnt be an issue except im simply alright in a lot of the things i do i want writing to be something else its not like i have anything i can show other people and its not like i have other people to show so half of the battle is just getting over that anyway i wanted a space i could do whatever whenever cause none of it matters and its not like anyone is actually looking at my neocities it just its its own thing so there is a part of me that wants to go back to something like quotev but that was my whole problem to begin with was spreading things around and then also not even sticking it out to make it something better cause half of the writing itself isnt even in the first draft its all in the editing oh my god this is just awful i hate writing but im at the point i just want to go back to it going to some other random site wont help me and resetting my files after how long just gets to be frustrating so i dont know it should just be for fun anyway ive started to learn how to drive for real and its not as bad at all like i thought i mean i was disadvantaged because of some of my circumstances so its not really my fault i guess but ill get my license which i am exited for more things will happen more things can be done still need to finish cleaning and making my space livable do more projects and make my room prettier and maybe get some goddamn writing done i wonder if theres a way i can make it into a habit like how i do for my morning pages but thats just as simple as i can get it like i still mostly do the three pages but i keep it in bed and i do it on my computer instead maybe i should trial run something like how i trial ran morning pages initially hm that might be a good idea but i need something thats actually convenient and doable also i will say i love my journal page this is so fun for me like just a giant block of text it pleases me greatly i sort of want to keep rambling just so i can get to the end of the page and so on but anyway let me think about my writing okay i guess the goal really is to come up with some sort of schedule okay well i did sit down and started ideas of things but it wasnt really like i mean i didnt actually write anything but i think just having the time dedicated to it is enough where im at my desk and so on just listing out whatever conmes to mind which at this point is some sort of visual novel this is a little more contained though narratively so maybe i could work on it not sure but its a start okay well im back to kind of vaguely i guess its less writing time and more sitting at my desk with the computer time whatever it is i decide to work on which right now is kind of leaning towards workng on the site i dont know what ill do here though i mean i did have a few ideas but hm i dont know no clear ideas i kind of want to go back to my bad lesbian erotica i think i should pick something to work on i have the ismara project wait oh my god i was so confused cause i had this other vn that i know i wrote down but it wasnt in the doc i forgot i put it in my morning pages while i was writing lol i should really be transferring my ideas and stuff as im doing them i was debating what i actually wanted to work on like i didnt really have a project for this month or nothing and i think its going to be ismara actually haha its so funny the last thing i was writing about was ismara as a new project i mean its real because i am back to working on her but for a game jam but its suck a struggle i want to be beautiful and true but thats kind of not in my heart call that my inherent evil i just dont want to actually work i mean i havent written anything new in literally forever but i havent been doing anything else ive just been playing games ive lost my ability to play guitar i can sort of draw so thats whatever i guess but there is something sick within my soul or im just lazy or depressed but i mean whatever theres still a month to go for this project and thats not a crazy amount of time but i can do that if i actually do it though oh the world is so cruel and evil not nice at all i just need to push through with writing i mean i should feel motivated theres even a prize and its not like im bad at the very least i could manage a runners up like im better then the worst i keep getting hung up on all the choices when i should just be able to push through like this is the easy part oh my god get it over with maybe im just scared its going to be bad regardless that i dont really have it in me like i dont have the i guess i have nothing of interest sometimes i make art that people enjoy but it always feels fake i dont live much im not a real person okay well a little progress has been made i wanted to just at the very least get through loop one i mean i say at the very least but no thats like the whole day goal regardless im trying to get this script done before the end of the week or at the end of the week sometime though maybe i should start coding before then but also what if i move things around what if i change my mind what if all this sucks but also its like i have the time and at the very least if i make a shit game its not like any of that matters most of it is subpar regardless ill be nothing special okay well its not quite drafted but its not not drafted its better then what it used to be cause somethings there at the very least okay well i have many things to work on like i still gotta keep on with the script but also i think i want to do artfight again and i kind of dont want to work oh wait i was just thinking i wanted to play short visual novels i forgot i can just sort on the database thats awesome anyway what was i saying um i want to do artfight and i dont want to read the next subahibi chapter rn ill let that marinate also work on the script okay yeah and also shower i should do that and wash my face hm many things to do okay ive been dipping into playing indie vns aka jsut whatever i find on itchio though i made a curated collection of games i thought looked halfway decent so far well its been a mixed bag but i did find one really good game so i know theyre out there anyway i should work some more on the script okay yes i should work on that but also bluh i dont want to but also no i do want to so i should go do that right now like okay so i have the first loop sort of put together i need to flesh out the few parts i left and i guess also start on the next one i mean i dont know hm okay its all going badly i need to work but i dont feel like working so now im sitting not doing anything oh fuck this gay earth like i need to keep working on this script but im not doing that so now i just feel bad but like it cant just skip forward but also what if what im doing gets cut out anyway and ive just wasted my time and and oh whatever i guess but also no i need to work augh i hate this wait i just had a crazy okay not quite idea but basically theres a part that could work as a crazy cliffhanger demo even though i lowkey dont gaf about demos and i wasnt going to make one myself but maybe this could work out for me this project was a little long all things considering for this kind of game jam so maybe i should switch to something more contained hm but now the new prblem is figuring out what to make a short game on lol not inspired by anything until i remember meridium exists ohhh perhaps its time to pull a story from the archives alright well i ended up with a completely new story but its completely plotted and im happy with it so i fear we have it made forreal peace and love like i dont know it might not win but its true to my heart and the kind of story that i like so really who gives a shit like its so dumb but its so good and im so happy with how its turning out okay well i kind of did nothing today but maybe that was my break i say as if im doing anything at all but whatever i got many things to do but i dont know if ill do them yet hm i dont know maybe i should go sit at my desk again or maybe like make some tea get into a work mindset or play a game first augh it literally never ends i think ill play a few games then come around to deciding what to work on oh my god i didnt do my morning pages im going to be sick im lowkey actually kind of sad it was the one thing i was consistently doing and i was proud of that alright well i showered and reoriented i guess now im back to working on the game read over the plot notes and yeah im actually pretty happy with it so i guess its really just a matter of work hm let me check how many scenes there actually are okay depending where it splits counts as a scene like six or eight which is not bad it is not crazy maybe these are like major scenes and they break into sub scenes within my notes hm so maybe i should have it all on different script docs to keep track im not sure okay goddamn there is actually light at the end of the tunnel what if we all exploded or died perhaps okay well i created my file plus i made the main menu i think that sort of makes or breaks motivation at least for me cause it makes me happy when idk like its just a visual thing oh well regardless maybe itll change later on who knows but for now i am satisfied i should change the textbox though okay well its the start of something at the very least im going to okay i think my process will probably be work on a mockup as im doing it so i can go in and replace assets or clean certain things up later on i think that sounds okay okay i think im actually going to mock up scene one scene one which is a fucked up title but whatever it works lol so im going to do that i thinks oh but im faced with the actual bane of my existence which is kind of like the whole point of it being i suck so bad with writing dialogue lol its not even funny sorry im like subhuman i cannot interact with other people in a normal way at all its always autistic and weird okay im going to scream im so pleased i love my ui its always my biggest struggle but things are forreal coming together right now yay yippeeee imagine me jumping up and down all happy style i forgot i need to fix the font but thats fine i can get that easy okay yay so i have basically the start of it forreal i have the basic outline for my sprites and the rest is just fiddling with the small details but yay im so excited its going so well which is why the horrors need to start soon aka figuring out the cgs well either ill make they black on white or white on black it remains to be seen i guess soo much progress being made rn oh my god okay so i got the title music written and its not the recording im going to go with but i got a recording up in it already just so i could play around and yes i am very pleased yayyy plus i did mockup sprites so i could check sizing plus art style oh my god its all coming together i am so so pleased with my progress of course theres the actual issue of writing the damn thing but i gots this i will be able to make this goddamn game yay yippee okay but now i need to stop fucking around with the coding and just focus on getting the script so there is actually something to code LOL but i am having a lot of fun now i am so excited okay i am back on the work grind i am going to put together scene one scene one just so i can see it played out okay cgs remain a continued struggle but i will work on that there is time for it anyway for now im going to get started i guess alright well i got something like a start its the draft at the very least i love that i write dialogue like ive never spoken english in my life its actually awesome really okay well i got my basic sprites in and its not horrible just needs some tweaking and reminding myself this is just the draft alright well i guess ive done what i could at least for the set up i dont know its mostly problems with the draft which is just bluhhh i dont know i dont want to be spending time trying to tweak code rn when i need to go forward in writing maybe i should just be editing straight in renpy hm i dont know because theres also issues in the script that like i guess its more game speed and such if that makes sense idk idkkkk i need to clean my files okay well i started and did some editing in the game and im more happy with it just minor things to be done hm okay banning myself from opening to code for now im only going to be working on the script everytime im like this is so awesome and so good then one thing goes wrong and im brought back to reality anyway i should smash my head into the pavement or something okay peace and love i laid down and edited my sprites again and now im happy lol not the final rendition but like i know the overall look i want to go for at least okay ive swung back around i love my game i am so genuis and sexy and awesome peace and loveeee forevers i love my sprites a lot so i need to go back to drafting forreals okay so its the next day i need to get serious with the drafting i need to put some work in forreals okayyy i need to actually get to work this time im throwing my phone across the room so i can focus alright well scene one scene two is done or planned out and im honestly pretty happy i mean of course i still need to put it in but the idea is there so i am still pleased okay i think ive drafted out all of scene one perhaps its not so bad hm took me about an hour to do which is also not that bad i think i was mostly stressing over the initial start but now i know that im going to be editing within renpy anyway so i dont have to worry too much okay i didnt really feel like but i think if i take a break now i wont be able to get back into the groove so im going to draft scene two now which honestly wont be that bad cause its relatively short i think which leaves the only things left to do today being scripting three and four yay okay i said that but immediately im like bluh what is this aversion to actually doing work its so odd but i mean there are sometimes i cant stop writing but so many times its just pulling teeth maybe there is something uniquely wrong with me huh oh i should try to finish this then eat lunch okay well i half drafted parts so im actually stopping for lunch now and ill decide if i want to come back after or later i dont know but its definitely gonna be done today so im not worried on that okay i took a break listened to some music jerked off came twice and now it is time to get back into it so i need to finish writing scene two and theres three sub scenes left of it thats the most pressing thing to be done as of now okay well i did scene two scene two which was the longer section so yay honestly its nothing too bad yayyy yippeee scene II is drafted yayyy so thats the first two done today theres only six in total since i want to keep the game relatively short so all thats left is to script directions of the third and fourth scene so i can draft them tomorrow which wont be hard yayyyy i wonder if i should start another vn as well i mean i was playing the short ones hm hmmm i dont know maybe ill go back to itch and play a few well i played some more games not bad its good to get a grasp of what i think works and what doesnt hmmm i should script directions for the next scene and i know i said it was easy but maybe im like cursed or something cause i do not feel like it even when its literally the simplest in the world what is my problem actually okay well i finished scripting directions for scene three so just four left which is very short and not much at all i say while its probably going to be a bitch to do also damn i have a lot of cg ideas i really need to be able to impliment this well or not even well like at all but preferably well too i mean okay yeah i kind of have no idea how im going to format scene four so im just going to leave it for now cause whatever hashtag whatever next day and so on but im feeling kind of bleh i mean not really i jsut havent started yet and its about to be eleven so i need to get on it but that being said i finally managed to torrent a game ive been trying to get for a minute idk why it was not being seeded before but i got it and yay but i really need to play some of the games i have downloaded already so i can make more space maybe ill start a new one cause honestly lowkey well maybe i should do a romance since that will differ from subahibi but also i still got work to do i dont know but its not much work and i dont really feel like im making progress i dont know but also i kind of have a sickening feeling that ill need to extend the ending but also what if theres not enough time but also i dont know okay no im not going to extend it at least not now maybe later in the future but not now okay scene three scene one is done kinda but whatever its honestly not bad im just bitching for the sake of it augh im just really tired rn i dont know maybe i should take a break to start on subahibi again i dont knowwww okay well i finished script directions for all the scenes so i think i know how its going to turn out okay and now im like i should probably keep drafting except idk maybe i want to switch it up and work on another part okay i replayed the part i had already coded and hehe hehehehehe its sooo good actually i love my sprites and the dialogue does work and just yayyyy okay well ive started doing something hm okay yay just minor little coding details but it makes me feel better took a break to eat and now i think im going to try to figure out the coding for this extra part ehehe i got it to work yay its like a little secret okay i still need to draft the next two scenes today but im going to to do that later bc i have a headache now bluh okay well i jerked off and took a nap and i do feel kind of better so i think im gonna start work again i need to finish drafting so thats what im going to do just scene three and four and i already started on scene three so yes i will get this done augh this is gonna go crazy when its done ugh i really need to finish but im just bluh not feeling it i guess maybe im just going to leave the script for now unless i get more ideas or something i should focus idk maybe its more valuable to keep adding to the game but i dont know literally drafting the script is so easy why am i beign such a bitch about this my head kind of hurts though okay i mean i did make good progress today no point antagonizing over this when i can just do it tomorrow i still got weeks left so i just gotta take my time anyway i think im going to play a vn but i want to choose one from my download list hm okay should figure out what to do okay i think first thing to do is draft in scene one scene two its very short but its writing and not dialogue and bluh idk its been a struggle recently i havent gotten into the groove but also dialogue is a struggle too so maybe there is no hope for me ever okay well its not great but its drafted and thats all i sort of needed for now okay awesome scene one has been fully drafted into the game yay also it is making me realize the value of my drafts bc i dont have to fully bullshit when putting things into the program augh unfortunately it all has its purpose i guess so i think today i want to code in scene II and also maybe draft scene III god it never ends but then once its all in there the rest of the time is spent refining art and script and so on okay i added in the little extra coding part just cause so i think ill take a break but regardless progress has certainly been made i think im going to try to finish drafting scene three before moving onto more coding half because i think its more imperitive and half cause its mostly done already so like what the hell okay yay drafting is complete and im happy again i was kind of struggling with that one scene bc i didnt like the direction but we have brought it back around yay yippee anyway all thats left is to code in the skeleton of scene II okay slay i got the basic of it coded in but there are two actual sections bluh okay i just gotta figure them out well technically i dont have to do it today like im not in a major rush but i should at least look into it okay well i finally figured out how to customize choice menu but then i also figured out this is not what i need and doing image button is much easier so thats what im doing lol alright i put together my little thing yay yippee obv needs to be totally design revamped but its fine cause i just need the actual code involved locked down which means theres only one last thing which may or may not be difficult idk okay well i made the assets but this kind of coding is far above my level lowkey but you know what i am going to persevere ill figure it out fr alright well i havent exactly figured out what i want to do but i do have a solution in case i cant which honestly i might even prefer over my original idea okay well i actually managed to finish what i set out to do today which like okay sure why not so instead of taking a break bc i think its too early to finish my visual novel i think im going to work on some small cosmetic details okay well took nearly two hours but i did things like take away skip indicator + try out ctc but ultimately decided i didnt like it + customize quit confirm prompt which took the longest my god i ended up with the most jank ass code but it works so i guess its fine lol this game isnt intended to have like okay i also disabled the hide function bc anything below the window is not relevant you do not need to see that okay im seeding a few games rn and i think im going to go finish this yuri incest one haha i got through one ending at least next day and i am getting my torrenting hashtag on but anyway i need to get back to work in general well i think ill eat breakfast first then get to it not much will change since i kind of have my system of script draft code anyway i was doing a bunch of other shit i should probably get to work now okay said all that then did no work but i made a list of vns that are readily available so i can keep the stream going lol anyway i should get to work okay i said that then did not get to work but its happening this time i swear im just briefly distracted but really not that much rush like theres nothing crazy going on just doing some scripting and so on scripted scene two scene one so there is some progress being made damn okay took way longer then it should have but i did finish scripting scene two oh many things are happening the stakes are ramping up i want to draft scene four which i mean actually okay i always say it but its not that bad likes its relatively short scenes and its only relevant if i dont accept to writing it lowkey badly but whatever thats something to do and then also coding scene III which i can get into oh it never ends okay i literally have not even started i hate working but i loveee torrenting more games lol i dont even know how im wasting all this time like it wont go any faster but oh well yay scene four is drafted plus i have new coding idea which i think will be fun to impliment plus most of my games have finished downloading yay anyway the last thing i was gonna do was coding which i think ill do but i want to do scene III and IV hmmm more interesting stuff and things going on im downloading more games bc the grind never stops i am hashtag stockpiling anyway i think i might eat then start on coding the scenes wait i should probably start coding now i fr just keep forgetting lol finished coding scene three although ive realized saying coding is kind of misleading cause its mostly making assets lol just having them in there but its done so yay i think ive even figured out the car scene but idk remains to be seen i guess my brain lowkey feels fried rn i dont know if i can figure out this coding lol i think ill take a break and see how i feel cming back hahahah okay its a new day and i came back and i had an idea to avoid learning how to make a new say screen and it works halellujah im actually going to cry anyway i have to eat first but then ill get into working again yay yippee okay and it is back to work for me i need to start scripting the next scene augh aughhhh okay i went to test coding instead and goddamn this might actually be the worst thing i have ever created but you know what if i can get it to run smoothly who cares okay what the hell am i doing im kind of very confused everything is happening but also nothing is happening i went all out of order okay time to get serious again ... im going to script scene three okay scene three scene one is there and im feeling blehhhh i dont know i guess today might not be my day and its like oh maybe i should tkae a break but its not like i have anything else to do really so maybe i should just end it all actually maybe scene three is cursed actually cause i was also struggling when drafting i dont know maybe its evil for real okay but its fine because it just needs to be done before the 28th and that is an easy goal even if i do less work per day im just going to leave scripting scene three on my to do list but ill get back to it later im gonna go jerk off or soemthing idk okay well i found some sort of creature in my bed killed and killed it and jerked off anyway um now im back here maybe i should get through the next part then ill play a game perhaps aughhh scene III is so long i mean its not but its longer but hteres only two subscenes left i can get through this okayyyyy holy shit i actually got through it so scene three is done and dusted except i still need to program sprite apperances but that will take like two minutes cause i only have default for now lol so yayyy yay okay its done foreeal peace and loves man i mean it wasnt crazy difficult i just didnt feel like working and also it was long and bluh anyway im leaving it as it is for now tomorrow will be scripting and finishing the coding of scene four which ive mostly figured out today so not the absolute worst i suppose alright peace and love im going to work on the next scene now its really not gonna be hard bc im not scripting this time around just copying directly from whats drafted and just adjusting the code cause idgaf okay goddamn i actually did a lot of progress scene four is done yay but also i feel kind of sick um maybe i should eat something bluh okay i think im going to eat lunch then play some games and the last thing i want to do today is draft the rest of the scenes five and six just so they are done and dusted okay i had a delicious burger yay okay i should really get to drafting again actually if i just get it done like 90 percent of the work becomes easier of course obviously cause then its done what a stupid thing to say LOL well whatevrrrr its not like im doing anything else aughhh pain and suffering i dont know maybe ill feel motivated randomly later like i dont have to do it now but still i feel like i cant really rest until i make some progress but i should keep working but also i feel kind of sick actually i dont know scene five is finally drafted my lord okay yay oh my god i actually finished the entire draft yayyy yippeee i didnt expect to pull through at the end but i did and that is awesome now i can play games care free okay anyway wait i need to wash my face OKAY face washed hair tied up i feel moderately cleaner and ready workkkkk anyway im going to code the last two scenes and then see how i feel about it alright well i got something up at the very least i feel like once you get to the end you start just pushing through lol so def a little worse but it will be regardless worked out so its fine all thats left in the current step is to script the last two scenes but its not much of a problem hmmmm everytime im like this is it in regards to my games i simply cannot help myself well at least this time its not new games its just figuring out how to get a handle on ones i already had got my locale emulator running + daemon tools hell yeah i am ready to rumble now anyway i should probably start on scripting i thinks okay i fr did not get any done um i really really want to just so i have it over maybe ill shower after finishing up these games then ill just force my way through it cause it has to be done okay i was not feeling good about the coded parts in scene only one scene left good lord we are coming to the end forreal this time peace and fucking love i mean only the end of the first draft lol still lots and lots of work to do but that is okay because we are going to finish omgggg we actually finished i kind of actually cant believe it i mean yes i finsiehd but holy shit and theres still a lot of work to do but holy shit anyway because i kind of did not believe in myself but i managed and im pacing really well now i have to re-orient the plan i played through my whole game and man this is so awesome i love this so much like no matter what it is my first project well not really but kind of really and im doing it all by myself and im proud and this is my foundation or some gay shit like that i am very happy okay its the next day and i was dealing with game sales yay a little reward for myself if i will anyway im going to eat then shower then sit down and figure out what to do next which i vaguely have an idea i think okay i am back in the fucking building again now its time to do a bit of work perhaps though i might maybe well no i should not take a break but also maybe perhaps okay i literally played games all day i need to get serious lol or at least limit only until ive finished augh i have so much work to i really do not need to be wasting time like this god okay i think im going to shower then sit down and reorient forreal okay i showered and im sitting down i should look at the work to do okay i was very nervous for the struggle but it is kind of not horrible so maybe there is hope for me yet theres only one subscene left of scene one i want to get through hmmm okay well actually good progress made for once i went through and edited scene one script entirely which is kind of crazy considering i spent six hours of my day not working and i kind of didnt think id be able to pull it off but i guess im feeling decent about writing again so its okay anyway really good progress i suppose i think im just going to give each scene a once over full edit to the best of my ability then let it rest when i comb over it again for sprites and music and such but yayyy omg good work today tomorrow i want to do work first then play games but i dont know it all depends okay i spent the day playing games again but its still early and so i can get to work but also oh god cause im going out tomorrow and really its not like i dont have time but also i do not want to be procrastinating on this i want to do good work okay anyway i have the set up ready and im going to eat lunch and then start on the work again good lord it took half an hour just editing five lines but it felt like two hours man its honestly the narrated parts that are so much harder i kind of didnt expect this but maybe thats just a visual novel thing i dont know alright i started okay yay so i got through scene one of scene two but it took like forever but i also kind of wasnt even paying attention forreal so thats probably part of why it took so long i want to finish the rest today but idk i mean scene one was a lot of narration not a lot of dialogue so maybe i can make it through but who knows btu god im kind of tired if i have to be honest okay i got to play no games but i did eat dinner and shower and im slightly more awake so i am going to finish scene two forreal this time okay i was getting worried for my game again that it would not appeal to the general audience because it is so boring and not interesting and predictable but then i remember that it might only be like that because its what i made and im me and i find it like that because obviously it came from my head but people might find it different which yes is probably true anyway time to work okay peace and love i finished scene two i mean it was kind of a struggle especially near the end but ill be going over it later anyway so its fine fow now the progress has been made and that is good enough and its not even that late so i can play some games yay okay i went out today and a whole lot happened and such and so on but now i actually need to get some work done scene three here i come or whatever but also im tired so i think im going to shower first to wake up and i got lemonade and im just going to push through it forreal okay well i showered and i have my lemonade and i can start working now cause god knows i really need to but also now im like aughhhh i dont want to i dont know maybe today can be the one day off and then ill pick it up tomorrow but ill also feel bad cause i do not have many days but also scene three is cursed so it might just be that actually feeling bleh tired i dont know what it is about scene three at all aughhh okay well i decided i just want to do the first scene bc thats all narration and once thats over with the rest should theoretically not be so bad for tomorrow okay well it was bad but whatwever i cleaned up today and im back to playing ganmes then ill get to editing again soon im actually playing subahibi again and i was halfway through looking glass insects nothing bad has happened yet but girl i am scared anyway i hope it stays fine lol aughhh i really need to get back to work its not funny i really dont know what it is about scene three that is so evil why is this hard um anyway ahaha i literally do not have as much time as i think i do its only two weeks less then that even oh god i really need to get to it already what if i died the script should have been edited already god okay well i fixed up the first cg that was not too bad so maybe the rest will also be fine and i was kind of freaking out over nothing but also lowkey i need to get back to work forreal ummm script to edit and all but im tired says guy who waits till last minute to do the work but im actually tired brooo okay you know what i am going to leave it for tomorrow but i will work a little on sierras song just so thats started okay well it is the next day and i got to get back into it forreal this time today is getting through editing scene three and also hannahs sprites hm okay well i got through the first part which basically im happy enough that its been started so the rest will come as it does it is no problem yay okay now i am going to finish editing scene three serious this time okay progress is being made but my god its just a long scene lol let me into the dialogue already man okay im like halfway through aughhh aughhhhh we are making it good lord okay had to take an intermission for a few things but now i am back to it and its going to be done okay last scene of scene three also i lowkey realized hmmm okay tomorrow i should work on scene four early i need to get that done scene three is done my god that took way too long cause i hated doing it also put it off but it really was not that bad its just like i said scene three is cursed badly oh well okay but also i dont know how im going to do scene four cause i kind of need to do that completely in the document um anyway i think tomorrow ill focus on music and sound stuff for the first half then while i edit scene four in the document hm okay and hannah sprites pretty much done hallelujah now its haley next then its up to the last two mcs but i think theres going to need to be more for them ugh anyway i did what i needed to do today which i am kind of proud of and tomorrow i am going to lose my mind over bad sound again so it all evens out i suppose okay well now im starting on the next part scene four actually i think i could change it to nvl mode and just continue it from there i do not think it would be much of an issue um let me go check that out okay i tried nvl and it didnt work like i wanted it so back to my jank ass code i guess but im gonna have to figure out what do bluhhhh okay well ive listed it all out pretty much and now its a matter of work to do but still bleh okay well its night now and i dont really feel up to writing but also this scene never got its first edit anyway so i think im going to spend a little more time on it so i have another chance of badly writing before coming into a sort of final draft so i suppose its in-depth bulleting time which takes a lot of stress away from the task thats a good framework to have methinks i should consider that more okay you know what its good enough ill rewrite it into the program by sorting into paragraph and split them all up from that point once im satisfied that doesnt sound too bad i probably could have done it this way before but oh well who cares i might do a little bit of it on top of scene five editing hm okay well i made basics of haleys sprites which was the last thing on todays todo list i am so tired tomorrow im going to work on the next scene plus also i want to edit scene four at least the start of it into the program oh many things to do tomorrow is going to be a working day okay it is the next day and i got work to do i need to start on editing scene five aughh but anyway it should not be that bad oh wait i just realized couldnt i do the sounds next week while i am coding that current chapter cause there is a two chapter buffer so i could get all the sounds together then plus whatever extra stuff i need hm okay makes me feel slightly better that now i dont have to deal with that yay anyway i do need to finish sprites and i do need to edit scene five so that is what i will get on with okay i showered and now it is time to work forreal i just need to edit scene five that is all okay time to actually get serious i say as i dont want to egt serious i forgot the start of this scene is rough aughhhhh okay im at the very well its not the end theres still like two sub scenes left but we are getting closer i need to get through it my godddd i want it over with already aughhh so close to the end but im just blehhhhh blehhhhhhhh im almost there man okay okay its the last sub scene my lord we are getting so close to it man i finished oh my fucking god finally okay well i mean i got through sort of what i needed to do for now like editing scene five was the major priority i still need to work on scene four but thats later tonight i finished another book and set up for the next prompt and i should seemingly return to subahibi perhaps or even play other game ummm maybe ill play homicipher its been a minute and i still need to clear it through hm i said that and then did no more work but i did finish the game so maybe its not all bad out there im feeling all sorts of bleh i really need to work on it but i dont know its always something near the end i start to get my doubts aughhhh okay well i made my sprites which is nice at least because i can start on the coding of that i dont think its going to be the very best i could want it i mean im falling short on stuff like the sprites and the music but bluh whatevr im still getting through it okay i still need to edit scene six and i also need to draft scene four ugh okay i feel like jesus okay i need to finish editing scene six then the last week im just going to spend one day hyperfocused on a singular chapter all its moving parts etc until its done i dont know what im doingggg aughhhh